This past week I have been approached endlessly by the boys who read the first part of this piece, saying that I was only writing about what the girls thought of the situation. Now I tried to convince them that I needed more insight into what their side thought, so I could also tell that side of this story, before I also get accused of belittling the boychild.
Boys claim to not be able to express themselves. That girls can talk about their issues without being judged by anyone, but once a male child starts saying what bugs him, he is shown contempt and asked to keep to himself. But I have lived with boys, and I don’t know much about other households, but in mine, equal opportunities are to all.
I have not heard a time when my brother was asked to not speak his mind and this makes me an avid believer that both genders should be allowed to speak out.
So boys, if you feel like someone will judge you when you ask for an ear to listen to your problems, I am here. Find me, let’s talk and heal together.
Second, and this was almost unanimous, especially for boys who have younger sisters. Asking for money is hard for guys. I was told that for a girl, all we have to do is phone home and ask for money, and I thought this was the biggest lie of all time. If not, then maybe in my next life I should be a boy, only so I can understand this view.
It’s not as easy, but they help us girls because we can’t go out to look for that money and still preserve our dignity for you to end up marrying girls with virtue.
Our parents know that if they refuse to at least have the girl as a priority, it is easy for the family name to get tainted than for the boy who will simply be dusted off and back on the wagon. There were those of you who say that you will treat your boys and girls the same. That you will not let your daughters “misuse” your funds. It’s alright. But remember, I warned you to preserve your girls for the future of your family name, and you chose not to listen.
There are those guys who are the first generation in their families to go to college instead of driving a tractor. Those who the weight of the success of their families is right on their shoulders and they feel burdened enormously, and then they look at the girl child and see how “easy” it is for her. It really isn’t.
She has to bear the whistles of your kind and the unflattering remarks when she does not turn because she feels disrespected by the way she is oggled at and then later outwrightly insulted to the amusement of bystanders.
She has to be strong enough to deal with those of you who undermine her and yet weak enough to have a need for you, because if not, then she is too strong and that can’t be good for your ego.
She has to watch you have your freedom when she has to preserve herself for when you are ready for her. She deals with your chauvinistic remarks and your sexism yet still looks at your kind for help.
You might have all these problems (which are not really in dire need if solutions as you claim), and this might only be my point of view, but don’t you see how much she has accomplished? How hard she has fought to get to where she is?
All you are concerned about, instead, is your stature and how to not let girls stand for themselves.
I think that the boychild should support each other.
Create a forum for himself to help his cause.
Listen to each other, since only you can know what is truly in your hearts. Yes, we know you have hearts, and they get troubled. Talk about it, together, not online. Stop with the comments that are aimed at making the girl child seem like a monster yet so untrue.
Create awareness about your troubles and concerns.
Form groups to empower one another.
Get people to help you with funds to start profitable activities and functions to lift you up.
If you don’t know how to deal with your situation, since you seem to think it is as bad as the girl child situation was for decades, ask her how she did it, who she looked to for help, and maybe you could learn a thing or two.
Next time you want to type of how marginalized you are, of how the government focuses more on the girls, or of how much you are becoming an endangered species, remember there was a time that girls were not necessarily taken to school and mothers could kill their newborns when they found that it was not a boy.
Remember when the girl could not lead her people or speak in public gatherings. When she could not speak her mind and nobody really cared. Then think hard if this is where you are now to call yourself a “sufferer” in these times.
You are so used to the female being weak that you now feel threatened that she is as strong as you, maybe stronger.
You settled with the idea that a woman’s place is at home such that when you find her in the office competing for the same job as you or in class doing as good as you, you get afraid of her and resort to try and bring her down.
How about I let you in on a little secret. The more you try to make her weaker, the more she will encourage herself to soar and the more you will keep complaining without cause.
Walk with her. Encourage her and she will do even more for you. It’s said that if you give a woman a house she makes it a home. This should motivate you to lift her so she can reach where you are. Deal with your troubles as she did with hers and rise together. Do not burn down then stay in the ashes. Rise. Like the Phoenix. Rise and burn as bright as she is, without trying to put her out.
For this, karma will thank you. And if you don’t believe in karma, how about you try not diminishing the girl child’s success and sit back.