It’s me, Julia. I hope you still remember me. I hope I don’t need to re-introduce myself to you. That would simply be sad. Sadder than me while writing this letter to you. I hope all is well, and that you are happy. I always did want the best for you. Remember?
Anyway, I know I am not supposed to write to you. I promised you that I wouldn’t any more. But I can’t keep this in, and I think you need to know before I can move on with my life and find someone to take genuinely happy pictures with. I was with my friends last night, and the girls were talking of their new catches. It’s funny that I didn’t have one. I can’t bring myself to like anyone else. I miss you.
I remembered one thing though, as I was looking through their galleries full of smiles. I remembered you said forever. Forever your Julia. And my heart broke once more. Because I don’t believe forever is as short-lived as we were. I’ve had enough of this pettiness. I know you have too. But all I am is broken right now. I can’t move with the same rhythm as before. The beat of my steps is uneven. All because I crave you.
Forever was such a beautiful word, with little James and Jackie in the back seat. Now it only means mornings healed with coffee and evenings curled up in bed. Forever is lonely now, My Love. These days, forever is only a farfetched lie that you whispered to me before we slept and right when I opened my eyes. These days, your Julia is no more. The smile you loved so much, I have missed seeing it in the mirror.
Don’t get me wrong, Love. I am not saying I need you back, because I know you will still walk out on me with the same lame excuses you gave last time. I do not need to die once more. I’m only saying that I miss you dearly, and I wrote it here because I know you will not read it. I know you will see it is from me and put this in the trash. Yes, I know you that well darling. But that is the one thing that gave me the courage to write this letter to you. To tell you that I need to forget forever. That I need to tell my heart and mind that I am no longer your Julia, if only there is a way.
Goodbye my love.